For those reading who are not LDS: "RM" is short for "returned missionary."
To the guy sitting next to me in Biology 100:
“Como estas” this “Me encanta esa cancion” that. Okay, WE GET IT. You speak Spanish. You served your mission in Mexico or Chile or Nicaragua or something like that.
Welcome home—it’s English time.
This happens a lot at BYU, where 8 out of 10 students are bilingual due to missionary service. It’s pretty cool, yes, but I think many would agree that there are some mildly annoying side effects. Mainly: people being bilingual and wanting everybody around them to know. This happens primarily with guys.
FYI, girls aren't dumb. We all know you’re just trying to impress us when you stand in the middle of the Cougareat talking loudly in French on your cell.
Newsflash: 99% of eligible BYU bachelorettes are seeking returned missionaries and, as a result, pretty much ASSUME that any marriagable guy they flirt with is bilingual (unless you served state-side, which is cool too). Go ahead and chat away on your cell in French/Russian/German/Mand
So Bio 100 guy, stop flirting in Spanish with that girl behind you. If she’s at BYU taking a science class, she probably speaks English too. And if the reason you’re talking in Spanish is because you want to keep the conversation private, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but chances are that 60 of the 100 guys in our classroom served Spanish-speaking missions just like you. And they all understand exactly what you're saying, just like me (Spanish 205, baby. Fall semester. A-. Eat it).
On a closing note: when you RMs see an old comp walking 50 yards away, it isn’t necessary to get his attention by shouting “Hu chin pao!” or “Oye!” or “Kauao na’talii!” for all to hear. A simple “dude!” will suffice. You’re both white guys wearing Hollister shirts. Speak English.
To the guy sitting next to me in Biology 100:
“Como estas” this “Me encanta esa cancion” that. Okay, WE GET IT. You speak Spanish. You served your mission in Mexico or Chile or Nicaragua or something like that.
Welcome home—it’s English time.
This happens a lot at BYU, where 8 out of 10 students are bilingual due to missionary service. It’s pretty cool, yes, but I think many would agree that there are some mildly annoying side effects. Mainly: people being bilingual and wanting everybody around them to know. This happens primarily with guys.
FYI, girls aren't dumb. We all know you’re just trying to impress us when you stand in the middle of the Cougareat talking loudly in French on your cell.
Newsflash: 99% of eligible BYU bachelorettes are seeking returned missionaries and, as a result, pretty much ASSUME that any marriagable guy they flirt with is bilingual (unless you served state-side, which is cool too). Go ahead and chat away on your cell in French/Russian/German/Mand
So Bio 100 guy, stop flirting in Spanish with that girl behind you. If she’s at BYU taking a science class, she probably speaks English too. And if the reason you’re talking in Spanish is because you want to keep the conversation private, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but chances are that 60 of the 100 guys in our classroom served Spanish-speaking missions just like you. And they all understand exactly what you're saying, just like me (Spanish 205, baby. Fall semester. A-. Eat it).
On a closing note: when you RMs see an old comp walking 50 yards away, it isn’t necessary to get his attention by shouting “Hu chin pao!” or “Oye!” or “Kauao na’talii!” for all to hear. A simple “dude!” will suffice. You’re both white guys wearing Hollister shirts. Speak English.
Sorry, fellas. These days are over. Welcome home to the states.
No comments:
Post a Comment