I Should Have Known Better

Brock and I are spending a few days with my family in FoCo before heading back to Provo for school. Seeing as how both of us are jobless (and, since our departures from Tucanos, sane) we've had to get creative with the whole making-enough-money-to-pay-rent thing. Being the go-getters that we are, we decided to take advantage of our time in Colorado and ask my mom if she had any odd jobs for us to do around the house.

I should have known better.

When we made this request to my darling mother, some of the "odd jobs" we had in mind were maybe, oh I dunno...babysitting, mowing the lawn, filing bills for my dad's Medicare patients, cleaning, etc.

But my mom is a smart woman. She recognizes cheap labor when she sees it, and, after all, beggars can't be choosers. So she decided that this week--the one week when Brock and I happen to be in town--would be deliciously opportune for her to undertake the most drastic landscaping endeavor the Thomas home has seen in years.

My mother decided that she doesn't much care for mulch; that she prefers river rock, and would love to line our retaining wall with said product. Enter Brock and Kristi. This job required us to remove all the mulch that was already lining the retaining wall, lay down tarp where the rocks would go (to prevent weeds and sinkage), and then transport 10 tons of river rock via wheelbarrow to the mulch's previous residence.

Yes, folks, 10 tons. I am not exaggerating.
(For those of you with arithmetic impediments, that 20,000 pounds.)

Did I mention that this is only one of the jobs assigned to us!? My mom also decided to build a new wooden entry deck to a door on the side of the house (have fun with that one, Brock!), suddenly became aware that our driveway was in dire need of caulking, and that it was time to harvest an entire ravine's worth of chokecherries to make chokecherry jam. Amazing how all this back-breaking work percolated and festered for years, but then suddenly erupted into the Perfect Storm of Labor rightwhen we arrive into town! Coincidence? I think not!

A word to the wise: the next time you're wanting to make a quick, easy buck, do not approach Holly Kern Thomas. You should know better.

Proof That My Little Bros Are Cuter Than Yours

So, in case you were unaware, I am the oldest of six kids. The two youngest ones, Caden and Connor, are five and four, respectively. Brock and I are currently babysitting all my siblings (minus Caleb, who's on a mission in NYC) while my parents celebrate their 20-some-odd anniversary in Aspen (cue the "bow chicka wow wow").

This morning, Brock took our lovely little dog Mojo out for a run on the beautiful Cathy Fromme Prairie trail. He came back and was idyllicly perusing the newspaper, dog in lap, on our deck that overlooks the prairie. Life couldn't have gotten much better...except Brock was in for a rude awakening.

[Connor walks on to the deck.]

"Hey Brooock, whacha doin?"
"I'm reading the paper."
"Why?"
"Because I like to know what going on in the world."
"Oh. But none of it's true."
Brock cocks an eyebrow. "What?"
"The newspaper. It's just all lies."
"Where did you hear that?"
"Um...on a TV show. Called...things that aren't true."
"Ooooh I see."

[enter Caden]

"Yeah Brock," he adds. "It's all just old stuff."
"It's stuff that happened a long time ago," says Connor. "Like, to the pioneers."
Caden nods in solemn agreement. "It doesn't even talk about Jesus."